Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
