He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
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You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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