Pants 0. Shit 1.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
