Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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