you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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