and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
