i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
