I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
send nudes
from the living room?
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