Im at strip club and am horny
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
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I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.