Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.