dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
