my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize