Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Are we still banned from the library?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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