I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
