oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize