I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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