I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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