oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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