Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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