Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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