I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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