I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
