saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
