i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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