but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
