A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Randomize
