I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We got so high we made milksteak
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
