great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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