I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
