i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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