Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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