You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Me too!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
