u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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