God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
