Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
smell my finger.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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