Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
