WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
