ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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