1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
