if you like me you must not know who I am
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
