I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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