i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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