I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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