last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
