If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize