i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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