We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
