Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
