is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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