Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there was a trapeze. enough said
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
