You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
