how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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