I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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