eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize