I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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