is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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