Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
