final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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