actually, I'm a sock model
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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